What will make it stop. I keep asking myself over and over as my face gets warmer and warmer. My eyes becoming rivers overflowing with water eroding my face as each drop goes over the Niagara falls that is my face. I try to run as fast as I can to make it stop like the tears will dry as the cold wind slashes me over and over until I become numb. Trying to make my eyes stop because they control the tears right? Not my head, not my heart, but my eyes. I have to get them to stop before someone sees before I walk through that door of my house, school, job will see that I can not handle what’s going on in my head. That even in all the time I have had in therapy learning to control how to deal with the people around me, the stress I encounter, the fear I have when I walk into a room; but still not how to make my mind stop spinning round and round with these little ideas popping in and out as if I was falling down the rabbit hole just waiting to hit the ground in wonderland but the ground will never come. I am trapped in my own mind, I have created my own prison. If I can’t control my mind who is? Am I someone else who is just a character my mind (or whoever is controlling it’s mind) has created and everyday a figment of ones imagination. Maybe I am just stuck in someone elses bad dream or I am a book character that my book is stuck in the middle of bad but the pages just won’t turn. If this is true I would like whoever is reading this book right now to turn the page, end the chapter, close the freaking book because I’m suffering. I want to stop my mind from spinning, I don’t want to be alone in this spiral. I am sorry that I can’t handle this, but I handle better than most I scream at the others in my mind. “I am trying my hardest with what I’ve got” I tell myself over and over as I cry night after night. What can I do to make it stop.