Trapped

I live in my head. There’s no place like home right? Lately it’s turning into a two way glass box. Only some people know about the glass so they can see in but others have no idea. All I can see is them but they can never see or understand me through the glass. The people who can see in leave, the ones who can’t don’t ever see a problem. Have you ever heard that you just have to find the problem and then everything will be okay. I am the problem. Maybe I should get rid of myself. All the people who can see past the glass seem to think that helps them. I am becoming self destructive. Like a ticking time bomb but no one can see the time left till it explodes. I can’t hear the voice that is my conscious but just a tick tick tick of the bomb loosing time. I am loosing myself into the abyss. My petals wilting in the cold dark sadness that is my mind. I never want to hurt my friends, the people I love, so I sit off into the night in a cold dark hole where no one will find me so when I explode no one gets hurt. I miss them. I miss me. Maybe I will become a phoenix rising from my own ashes.

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