Ever heard the song The Black Tree by Stu Larsen. Well there is a line in it that says that “I’m more lost then I ever was”. It’s probably my favorite line because I relate to it. Do you ever have that feeling that you don’t belong anywhere, you’re just lost and you can’t find yourself and no matter how much you try to create this identity that some how or another it is just taken away from you. I feel like this all the time. You try to fix one part of your life and then a bunch of other things go wrong and everything you have been trying to fix about yourself is falling back down to where it was. We all know I use this site as a rant on how I feel and if you don’t like that I’m truly sorry. I am not broken, not shattered, not cracked, but I need to be fixed because I am bent. Bent out of shape they say. I can’t bend back and this isn’t a tumblr site but maybe I can feel like this and no one know how I feel. Even though I try I want to give up on everything. My basic moto is “little will to live”. Don’t get me wrong I’m not going to kill myself. I don’t want to kill myself but I think about it. I couldn’t do it I would be to scared. But between me and the non realistic people who read this blog that fear is going away. I don’t know maybe I’ll just log off one day and you’ll never really know. Please do what ever it is that makes you happy.
I love .